under their shell

this is one of the nights that i just wanna spend crying. but i am too tired to cry.
i'm freezing, that's because it's very cold in my room but i somehow like it.

so i am having this thing with this guy. he's getting annoying. that might sound like the bitchiest thing i've ever said, but i just don't ever wanna see him again. he's so boring, pointless, faceless somehow. i don't wanna waste my last week with him. but he's so so so nice. so i am a bitch. an arrogant bitch.
i'm still not over something (well someone) else though. i wrote him a note. he's not gonna react to it at all. and i'm leaving in 5 days anyway. it's all good. i'm just gonna party as much as i can back in germany and pretty sure i'll be able to forget after a couple (or more) shots.

my goodbye thing was nice. people were being cute. nobody was sad though. more happy. not because they hate me, but yeah. nobody was actually supersad. that's good!

i want to sleep now. but i promised my brother to watch weeds with him later. so well maybe netflix has some good movies to offer?! i doubt it.
i need to go back to germany. I NEED TO DRINK. no joke.

people here bitch way too much behind their friend's backs. i wish i'd hear all the stuff that's said behind my back. i'm really really interested in what people think of me.

and i'd walk through hell for you.