god it's been a long time.

since even thinking of blogger.com

but i'm pissed now. i wanna write when i'm pissed. cause nobody would listen. i could call nico, but i do not feel like that cause he's been bitchy today. so my best friend is sleeping over at my house today and has been on the balcony with my brother for the last 90 minutes. i do have the right to be mad at her.. but i'm not and it's supring me.
this is not the first time. but when i spend an hour at some party with another guy just to talk it's the biggest scandal ever, cause oh yeah i'm stealing aaaaaaaaall the attention and i'm not there for my friends. ya right. fuck yourself.
i'm sick by the way. of school. and of life in general. i'm so emo, i'm embarassed.
i'm gonna work out tomorrow and i don't care if that's bad for me.
and i can drive my vespa now. and i can't stop eating m&m's. i feel like i have to puke later.
should i go to bed now? who knows how long they're gonna stay on the balcony? like isn't she even thinking?

gosh i hate life.
i need alcohol.